Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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