Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
