she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
