There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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