I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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