She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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