Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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