he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize