im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
