the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.