I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
