there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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