my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize