doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
