Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
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