We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
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I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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