Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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