I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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