Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
