im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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