we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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