I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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