4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
