No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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