My Higher Power is John Stamos
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Your cock deserves a montage
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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