smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
