Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
