winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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