i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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