I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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