Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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