??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
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Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
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I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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