sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
