did you get engaged???
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
