WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
