I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
