just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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