dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
