for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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