it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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