How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
