Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
