You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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