great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize