My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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