Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
