i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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