Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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