these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
