How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
His hands were made for my vagina.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
