i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize