so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
